CYCLE MAFIA

They are a fugitive couple and partners in crime. They were last seen in Vancouver in Canada sometime in January 2019. But they are never stationary and capable to operate from any location around the world. Current location of suspects is somewhere in Delft city of Netherlands. Both are dangerously armed with sophisticated skills to brainwash others. These repeat offenders target innocent communities and do it deliberately. Their secret intent is to destroy the way humans have been moving traditionally with motorized assistance. They basically want to change the transportation systems. To achieve this they have even created a blue print.

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Island Press

Innocent individuals are often targeted as easy prey and they end up getting trapped in their sweet talks. From sources, it is revealed that the two culprits are out on a global mission to upscale addiction of human powered vehicles (commonly called as “bicycle” or “cycle” and informally referred as “bike”). They want to convert a typical pedaling behavior into an epidemic. Some analysts claim that through their selfish deeds, certain businesses and environment will get an unfair advantage and negatively impact factories producing vehicles and oil companies. And to execute their master plan, they are making intense use of social media by posting images, statistics, videos and references from history. This technique attracts the internet audience and gradually they are recruiting more people in their gang. I’m one of the victims. Apparently there is an upsurge seen in their crime rate with increase in number of social posts and hence such high casualty rate. This cycle mafia has maintained connections with international fraternity and enjoy support of local agencies and formed questionable alliances.

The two haven’t even spared their own kids. They are a factory of ideas and continue to disguise people with new tricks and techniques every now and than. There is enough evidence to suggest that their unlicensed cycle advocacy trade operates mostly in commuting space. Another characteristic is that the two tricksters glamorize and package physical infrastructure so innovatively that anyone would fall for it. Holding structured talks, striking conversations with unknown parties, befriending a stranger and taking them into confidence is their modus operandi. One of the suspects is often seen carrying a suspicious tool (DSLR camera) while the other goes about persuading the targeted civilian. They are very sharp and frequently reveal secrets after secret pertaining to cycling infrastructure so that more people get influenced and recreate their city design models and make it citizen friendly.

Presently, there is widespread confusion in the public space with regards to their personal transportation choices and how their cities should be. The persons to be blamed for triggering this kind of condition amongst innocent people are – Chris Bruntlett and Melissa Bruntlett.

Today, 30th July is their wedding anniversary. 

Happy Anniversary to the Cycle Mafia’s.

Stay ahead in your crime!

 

*This article is my way of showing admiration for the couple who are doing phenomenal work in the cycling advocacy and marketing space. We need more such selfless individuals to work on-ground and walk the talk to achieve healthier and happier cities. 

 

Caricature Artist: Shivangi Dhamija

 


 

Author: Vijay Malhotra, Mumbai

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